Blood Sucking Vampires

I have wasted a lot of my life worrying about big ol’ piles of bullshit. Really, I have. I would venture to guess, so have you. I have also spent much of my life seeking, reading, looking for answers, wanting growth, peace, contentment. I wanted to be comforted in knowing how the story ends. I want some frickin’ answers. This whole living your way to the answers stuff, it’s for the birds. All this unknowing, it makes me really F-in anxious. I was born a worrier. I had symptoms of worrying before I could string together complete sentences. I can worry with the best of them. If you ever want help imagining the worst possible outcome at any given point, just ask me. I can help. If you ever want

Silence.

People want you to quiet, they want you to be voiceless. In the midst of politics, debates, the lunacy and discord over this 2016 election, I overheard a friend say, “Everyone has an opinion, don’t they?!” I was silent, but inside I was screaming “YES! Yes they do, isn’t that the F-in point?” I get it. I am tired of the hatred. Often I prefer to get swept up in a TV show and forget the world for a while. In truth, I don’t want to hear the othersides defense because there is so much I can not ignore. I wish i could prance with the rainbow unicorns humming happy melodies. But, I cannot seem to put a cap on the really big real feelings I have when I have them. I don’t think we are meant to. W

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